I want to share with you my thoughts and answers to one of my favorite anonymous questions on Instagram. It is very special to me as it is a question I don’t normally encounter. For me, this came off as a very self-aware question from a very loving person who wants to be the best that they can be around those they love.
“Hi Ms. KCA! I love my purchases from you po. Are there crystals that helps us become better individuals, change the way we think? We are only human, and sometimes we hate ourselves for feeling jealous of others, or sometimes we are the ones giving off bad energies. Thank you po!”
Let us break down the answer into three parts to better understand each element of the person's message:
Crystals that help us become better individuals
For me, I highly value gratefulness. Although it is very debatable as to what we can consider and define what makes us a “better person”, I feel like gratefulness is a key part towards it. I have noticed that when a person is grateful, there’s less drama around them, and they are very easy to be with. They radiate a kind of calmness and peace.
Some crystals that can help you achieve gratefulness are:
Feeling bad because we feel jealous of others
First, I feel like you should honor how you feel. I would like to remind everyone (including myself) that emotions are just like your favorite color - it is never wrong. It is how you feel, and there is no need for you to justify it.
· My favorite for honoring one’s feelings is Lepidolite. It helps you process things that bring down your self-esteem and self-worth. This crystal shows a path between being kind to yourself and processing your pain whenever you are ready.
After sitting with your feelings, maybe then you can start analyzing and digesting why you felt that way in the first place. Take as much time as you need. There is no need to rush when it comes to understanding yourself. Remember to be gentle with yourself, and that it is okay to try again if you hit a roadblock.
If you have a person you trust, you can ask them to be a sound board and bounce your ideas with them.
· A crystal that can help you to reflect and understand yourself more is Black Obsidian (with any kind of sheen). An excellent stone for inner work, Obsidian will show you the things that you need to work on and habits you’ve never noticed before.
· Howlite can also help you gain wisdom and perspective with your inner work. It can help soothe emotions, so you can go through this process with calmness and presence of mind. I think that with the help of Howlite, your journey of self-reflection will be less stressful.
Being unaware of negative energies we give off
I find this particular challenge very tricky as I am also someone who tends to overthink my words and actions. Sometimes we don’t know if we are just overthinking or if we already overstepped someone’s boundaries. When we live in fear, it is hard to reach out and be with the people we love.
I think one of the best ways to go about it is to learn to ask for feedback and listen to those you trust and love. Listen to what they share with open ears and an open heart, then evaluate and reflect on the things they tell you.
· Amazonite is a good crystal to have when listening to their feedback. It can assist you in accepting critiques and other people’s observations without becoming defensive - a normal and human response when others point out our flaws and/or mistakes. I know this step can be difficult, so take your time to find the right person to listen to and in reflecting and digesting the information that they offer you. Amazonite is the best companion while going through this process.
A remarkable quote from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry captures this feeling and experience perfectly:
“Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.”
There would be days when we carry what feels like the weight of the world, and we unknowingly hurt the people closest to us. It will be hard to forgive ourselves, but I am here to remind you that no one is perfect.
The fact that you want to improve yourself and become better for the people you love is not only honorable, but it is also admirable. I don’t think you are too far off from becoming a “better” person and are already a step closer to being who you aspire to be. Good luck to you!